A short message to my former adventure buddy. (01.16.17)

It’s a bit sad to think that we can’t have an adventure together anymore. Time flies so fast and there are drastic changes in our lives which we need to accept. In the end, I am still thankful that for once, you became my travel buddy. Partners in crime, I may say. You are a blessing in disguise. Because of you, I learned how to be true to myself. And because of you, I became stronger. I admit, it’s not easy to continue this journey without you. But I am pretty sure that soon, we can find another adventure buddies whom we can share memories with- more memorable than what we had. I wish you all the best and I am looking forward to see you again. But for now, let’s pretend that our adventures don’t exist.

From: Your strong, independent ex-lover.

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Not the Last Goodbye

12.22.16 (While I’m watching you play your fave game.)

Your actions have told me that I need to go
But staring at your eyes make me want to stay in your arms
And it may look that I’m just a nuance to you
Yet I still choose to try fixing our broken hearts

I know I’m such a hard headed stupid girl
Coz things like this is likely to end
Now I’m insane and loving this misery
I’m insanely hoping that this will turn into fantasy

A friend once told me that our situation is a loop
No matter how I try to leave, this is endless
Coz everytime I look at you, it gives me hope
Now I’m doing crazy things, foolishness

This poem is so vague and nonsense
Coz I don’t know what I’m trying to imply
All I know that if I’ll leave, fate will pull us closer
And so our story has an endless goodbye

I can’t end this poetry
I can’t leave a dot
For words can’t express exactly what I’m supposed to tell
And this is not the last farewell

Loudest Silence (Sonnet 9.30.16)

Too many questions left unanswered
Sheltered feelings and words unspoken
Silent room yet your voice can’t be heard
You said the final word then my heart was broken

My sight is blur and heart’s beating faster
Like the world is shattered for a second
Pellucid words but I pretend it’s obscure thereafter
So I don’t say a word and I reach for your hand

I just clench and hold it so tight
But you let it go now I cried for plea
You are fully decided and I won’t fight
Then you walk away without looking back at me

I’m in a misery, I cannot lie
When you say to me that hurtful goodbye