To my love: Read this whenever you get tired of something.

You will be my source of words in times which I don’t have anything to write. And I will be the first and the last person to appreciate your films when the whole world rejected your stories. You will be my mentor in music, arts and everything in between whenever I am depressed about something. And I will be your meticulous accountant whenever you wanted to waste all your money. You will be my coffee (comforter) in times I get tired of studying. And I will be the last note on a music sheet everytime you wanna give up with music. You will be the last poem I would make and I will be the last love letter that you will write.

I know you encountered a lot of problems right now (me too). I just thought this might help you/me. I want you to know that I am always here for you. I am your #1 supporter, your #0 fan. I know better days are coming β™₯ our efforts will make sense in the end. Success is coming 😍😍😍

From: Your sweetest love ❀


Incomparable Love β™₯Β 

I may not have deep words like Shakespeare do just to tell the world that my love is true. Our story may not be written by Nicholas Sparks who made a million people cry. Neither our goodbyes and comebacks can make the hopeless romantic inspired. Our love story is just ordinary. But I swear,  we are better than a tragedy.  We are better than a happy ending of a fantasy.  We are better than magic spells or wizardry. Better than “to be or not to be”. Far better than any romance of a movie. Our love story is genuinely ordinary. I may not have romantic words to say.  Not even convincing words for you to stay. But I promise, you are my only.  You always say you can’t define love by using dictionary.  That movies aren’t accurate,  too.  But only now I have known the reason why. Because, our love is incomparable for our love is true.  Our story is unique for our love is true.  You can’t find it in any pages of a book.  You can’t find it in between the lines of a poem.  It’s always in us.  And for almost 6 years,  it still remains in our hearts. πŸ’• 

PS.  I love you. 

Not the Last Goodbye

12.22.16 (While I’m watching you play your fave game.)

Your actions have told me that I need to go
But staring at your eyes make me want to stay in your arms
And it may look that I’m just a nuance to you
Yet I still choose to try fixing our broken hearts

I know I’m such a hard headed stupid girl
Coz things like this is likely to end
Now I’m insane and loving this misery
I’m insanely hoping that this will turn into fantasy

A friend once told me that our situation is a loop
No matter how I try to leave, this is endless
Coz everytime I look at you, it gives me hope
Now I’m doing crazy things, foolishness

This poem is so vague and nonsense
Coz I don’t know what I’m trying to imply
All I know that if I’ll leave, fate will pull us closer
And so our story has an endless goodbye

I can’t end this poetry
I can’t leave a dot
For words can’t express exactly what I’m supposed to tell
And this is not the last farewell

To The Next Guy I’ll Love (9.28.16)

To the next guy I’ll love
Whether you’re a stranger or someone I’ve known,
There are few things I want to say
Just to give you warning before you’ll stay

Please don’t come,
I don’t want you to fall
But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to meet you
I’m just afraid that I might hurt you

I’m drained and really tired
There’s a pain I’m pretending to hide
I’m not ready
I’m still not ready to love you

Please make sure you’re on the right time
To avoid confusions so things will be fine
I still need to have a strong heart
For us to have a fresh start

To the next guy I’ll love
If you are reading right now,
We’ll meet soon if granted by fate
And I’m just right here, willing to wait

An open letter to the guy from the past. (10.14.16)

I don’t know what to write coz words aren’t enough to speak what I feel deep inside. But I’m also afraid that I might not be able to say what I am supposed to tell. I keep on asking why after all these years, I found myself having the same feeling on the same person. You may think it’s so odd to hear or maybe you can say it’s a lie. Okay, let’s just pretend that it is.

You see, I’m the girl from the past who keep on coming back. No matter what the situation is and even though we tried so hard to be apart, I still ended up loving (that’s the word) you. And I know love is such a shitty word for you now. I did try to leave, I did try not to care. But everytime I see you from afar, my heart will beat so fast and there’s a feeling that I don’t even understand. Memories with you will still haunt me. And everytime I recall our beautiful (your description) story, I keep on asking if what we have was real. I keep on wondering if we have the same feelings. I want to know if you treasured those sweet little memories. If you’re happy that I became part of your life. And I also want to know if your love for me was real. But I’m afraid to ask, I’m afraid to know the truth.

You keep on asking why out of hundreds of guys that I met, it’s always you afterall. You keep on saying the world is against us but why I still risk something just for you. Simply because what I feel for you is unique. I don’t know what’s with you but you really caught me off guard. Everytime you listen to my nonsense topic & hold my sweaty hands when I’m scared, I have considered you as my bestfriend. You always make me calm whenever I get paranoid and you would always notice the changes of my appearance everyday. But what I love the most is you make me smile and laugh effortlessly. Now those are just memories. We were young back then and now we grew up. We know that things like that won’t happen in the real world right now. But you know what? The remnants from the past will always remain in my heart and I hope we feel the same. That even if the future is unclear, whether we’ll meet again by fate or remain strangers (like what we are now), we knew that what we have is extraordinary and different from the other stories. And for that, I am forever grateful.

“Maybe there is something about the past for we keep on coming back (and eventually destined to fall apart). Maybe I just miss the feeling. Or maybe, just maybe, I want to live there forever.”