A Birthday Letter to the One of the Strongest People I have known

08.22.18

The day you were born was one of the happiest and unforgettable moments of my life. That day was indeed a blessing in disguise. In fact, we experienced miracle. You are a premature baby. You were supposed to come out on the ninth month but I guess you are too excited that you came out 3 months early. You are only 6 months old in your mommy’s womb yet you survived. I can still remember that there is another premature baby born on that day but did not survive. You are so brave! You are so brave since birth. That’s why you are called “Caryl”. You are our strong little baby- my first ever niece.

The miracle did not happened once. But it happened twice, thrice, or maybe everyday? Everyday is another day to say, “Thank You Lord for giving us this amazing girl.” You faced health challenges since you were a child but you are strong enough to conquer all of those. Years passed by, I have found out that you are also blessed with talents. You have a nice voice (not like me), you love playing musical instruments and we also have the same interest in books and writing. You already made a story on Wattpad. When I’m at your age, I only know how to write articles and poems but making stories is just so difficult for me to do. Possessing those skills is something any family member of a premature baby can be proud of. You also love being alone and adore silence. Sometimes I thought that you only read books for you to have an excuse to just stay stay in your room and be quite. Well, maybe yes. But hey, I know you are a real bookworm and I’m always excited to ask you what’s the story all about whenever you finished reading a book.

You also have your own flaws, of course. Nobody’s perfect. And maybe that is the reason why I can say you are a little Charlene. However, I want you to know that everyday is another day to improve ourselves. We are not born with complete months, but we need to prove to everyone that we are capable of doings things like any normal people do. So what if we are forgetful? We can take down notes to remind us. So what if we are sometimes lazy? We can still change for the better. Yes, we are called “moranta” or “maldita”, but I am proud of you because you have a heart that cares. Not all the people can see it, but you are truly amazing. I want you to know that we may not be perfect, but God is a loving and merciful God. He knows all what our heart desires.

Now that our baby is already an adolescent, I wish you to have stronger shoulders, not lighter burdens. I wish you all the best of the worst, my love. I love you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎁

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A Poem For My Mom on her 59th Birthday 💓

​8.11.17 CBI

I once cried for so many reasons
The world is cruel, giving a lot of complications
But there comes a woman with abnegation in her eyes 
A woman who wiped my tears and took away the sadness in my heart

I once complained about my life coz I can’t feel fairness
Wondering why I need to suffer and experience darkness 
But there was a woman from afar who smiled at me
She look at me with her loving eyes, She look at me with her restless eyes
I then observe her dirty hands from work
She’s pale. She’s weak. She’s in pain yet still fighting
And that woman gave me light
My problems are nothing compared to the burden she suffered 

One busy morning, I was in a hurry 
I need to do things quickly but a figure of a woman caught me
She’s crying
The woman with abnegation in her heart
The woman with loving eyes is crying
She then told me she’s tired
She’s tired because she did all her best for her family
She’s tired of thinking that not a single penny left in her pocket
She asked help to all the people she knows but none of them gave a helpful hand

I wanted to help that woman
I wanted to hug her and wipe her tears
But I ran away
I ran away because I am ashamed of myself
I don’t even know how to help a selfless woman like her
I am ashamed because I am one of the reasons why she’s crying
She helps other people that there’s nothing left for her
And that woman is you,  mama
No words can explain how thankful I am to have you

HAPPY 59th BIRTHDAY MA!

To my love: Read this whenever you get tired of something.

You will be my source of words in times which I don’t have anything to write. And I will be the first and the last person to appreciate your films when the whole world rejected your stories. You will be my mentor in music, arts and everything in between whenever I am depressed about something. And I will be your meticulous accountant whenever you wanted to waste all your money. You will be my coffee (comforter) in times I get tired of studying. And I will be the last note on a music sheet everytime you wanna give up with music. You will be the last poem I would make and I will be the last love letter that you will write.

I know you encountered a lot of problems right now (me too). I just thought this might help you/me. I want you to know that I am always here for you. I am your #1 supporter, your #0 fan. I know better days are coming our efforts will make sense in the end. Success is coming 😍😍😍

From: Your sweetest love ❤

Incomparable Love ♥ 

I may not have deep words like Shakespeare do just to tell the world that my love is true. Our story may not be written by Nicholas Sparks who made a million people cry. Neither our goodbyes and comebacks can make the hopeless romantic inspired. Our love story is just ordinary. But I swear,  we are better than a tragedy.  We are better than a happy ending of a fantasy.  We are better than magic spells or wizardry. Better than “to be or not to be”. Far better than any romance of a movie. Our love story is genuinely ordinary. I may not have romantic words to say.  Not even convincing words for you to stay. But I promise, you are my only.  You always say you can’t define love by using dictionary.  That movies aren’t accurate,  too.  But only now I have known the reason why. Because, our love is incomparable for our love is true.  Our story is unique for our love is true.  You can’t find it in any pages of a book.  You can’t find it in between the lines of a poem.  It’s always in us.  And for almost 6 years,  it still remains in our hearts. 💕 

PS.  I love you. 

Not the Last Goodbye

12.22.16 (While I’m watching you play your fave game.)

Your actions have told me that I need to go
But staring at your eyes make me want to stay in your arms
And it may look that I’m just a nuance to you
Yet I still choose to try fixing our broken hearts

I know I’m such a hard headed stupid girl
Coz things like this is likely to end
Now I’m insane and loving this misery
I’m insanely hoping that this will turn into fantasy

A friend once told me that our situation is a loop
No matter how I try to leave, this is endless
Coz everytime I look at you, it gives me hope
Now I’m doing crazy things, foolishness

This poem is so vague and nonsense
Coz I don’t know what I’m trying to imply
All I know that if I’ll leave, fate will pull us closer
And so our story has an endless goodbye

I can’t end this poetry
I can’t leave a dot
For words can’t express exactly what I’m supposed to tell
And this is not the last farewell

To The Next Guy I’ll Love (9.28.16)

To the next guy I’ll love
Whether you’re a stranger or someone I’ve known,
There are few things I want to say
Just to give you warning before you’ll stay

Please don’t come,
I don’t want you to fall
But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to meet you
I’m just afraid that I might hurt you

I’m drained and really tired
There’s a pain I’m pretending to hide
I’m not ready
I’m still not ready to love you

Please make sure you’re on the right time
To avoid confusions so things will be fine
I still need to have a strong heart
For us to have a fresh start

To the next guy I’ll love
If you are reading right now,
We’ll meet soon if granted by fate
And I’m just right here, willing to wait